bEttEr oFF ALONE

At a point of time last week, I was thinking really hard about why it’s so difficult to live with me. I asked various people of what they thought and they told me that it all depends on the person who is to live with me. If they can stand me, then, I won’t be difficult to live with. So that definitely means I’m tough right? Is it really that way? Am I so hard to please? Do I demand so many things that people can’t stand me?

Then, after giving it some thought, I saw it the answer. The reason why people never stay with me, and why my boyfriends leave me half way down the road; is not because I’m difficult to live with, it’s just because I’m a lot better off alone. Not literally alone, but as in not in a relationship. What I feel right now is what I felt years ago when I was still in school. Back then, I was part of a group we called the SUG’s (Single Until Graduation). Back then, though there were times when life was miserable, I felt wonderful because I didn’t have to worry about boys, or relationships, or anniversaries and things like that. And though at times I did think that something was wrong with me, since nobody liked me enough to make me their girlfriend, it worked perfectly well for me. All my life I’ve gone to all-girls schools, so I don’t really feel the difference of having or not a boy around me in my life.

And right now, with a bundle of responsibilities on my back, and stacks of cases to read, plus bunches of friends to meet up with every now and then, I think I finally found the me I really wanted to be all this while. The person who is able to take work seriously without being serious outside of it, and the person who can laugh at her mistakes and cry when she is sad, and most importantly, I am now the person who is able to forgive and let live. This accomplishment is something that I will always and continuously thank God for. I seriously should not ask for more.

green, green grass on my side