Too much will always be too much. And we all know that too much of something can be pretty deadly. This is what it is all about. It’s freaking 2.10 in the morning and I can’t sleep. This condition is normal, and 2 o’clock is basically nothing as compared to 4 in the morning. Last night I slept at 4.30, and woke up 25 minutes later for sahur. I am seriously deprived of sleep. I just can’t seem to doze off. God help me, I could really do with some rest right now.
Well, back to what I was saying about having too much of something. Sometimes, too much thinking can drive a person nuts. And as stupid as this may sound, I just realized that after nearly 20 years of living. Too much of memories really hurt, yeah? It’s hard to throw it all down the drain. It’s taxing, and horribly tiring. I wish that I could take it all away, and be the one who catches all my tears, but I can’t seem to play that role very well. A big dose of distraction would really do me a good favour. Yeah, Ady told me that I could use a great big distraction. And I know I it would really help me too.
Hope keeps me fighting, and hope keeps me alive, but I had stopped living on it because I was living a lie. About 2 weeks ago, it became very, very apparent what was coming my way, and that’s when I seriously stopped hoping. The thing is, I had been living in hope for way too long. Much longer than I intended to, and much longer than I should have. So, due to too much hope, it hurts too much. All guys are the same. I hate stereotyping, because I would hate a guy to tell me that all girls are the same, but seriously, all guys are the same. The only reason they pick up the pieces of your heart is only to break them into pieces again. I have learnt that from experience. And as much as I hate to admit it, I am not a very strong fighter. Isn’t it all apparent now?
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